


Little Hats

by hyuy (doll_revolution)



Series: Only Real Life Is This Weird [2]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Fanon, M/M, Over the Top, Safehouses, Squick, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-09-30
Updated: 2000-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 07:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doll_revolution/pseuds/hyuy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone needs a hobby</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Hats

**Author's Note:**

> my first fandom, my weirdest series  
> (these have all happened to me, really)

Duo bounded into the living room, face flushed, hair out of its usual braid, and began rummaging through the drawers of the desk. Wufei briefly raised his eyes from his book, and then returned to reading. Quatre and Trowa looked up from their chess game. Quatre's eyes widened as he watched Duo tear through one drawer after another, leaving pure chaos behind him.

"Um, Duo?" Quatre asked, sending another nervous glance towards the desk, "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Not really." The contents of another drawer were dumped unceremoniously on the floor. Duo sighed in frustration and moved towards the closet. Quatre panicked.

"DUO!" Duo whipped his head around, startled by Quatre's yell. The Arabian blushed, and continued speaking in a milder tone. "What are you looking for? I probably know where it is. It's my house, after all."

"Oh, yeah!" Duo giggled, running his hands through his hair. "I'm a little, uh, distracted at the moment. Anyway, I'm looking for some felt."

"Felt?"

"Yeah, felt. You know, the cloth? Like cotton, but a little stiffer?"

"I know what felt is, Duo. I was just surprised. Um, try the basket in the corner of the closet. I think there's some sewing supplies there."

"Cool!" Duo dove into the closet, and soon emerged triumphant, waving a square of grey felt above his head. "Success! Thanks, Q-dude!" He started to leave the room, but then turned back and looked thoughtful, idly chewing on a strand of hair.

Quatre sighed, thinking he was never going to be able to finish the chess game. "Now what, Duo?"

Duo looked at Trowa for a moment, then spoke. "Tro, would you happen to have any eyeliner?"

Trowa blinked an eye.

Quatre bristled. "And just why would you think Trowa has eyeliner?"

"Well, he's a circus clown, isn't he? Those guys are always slapping the make-up on." Duo grinned mischieviously and added, "Besides, you can barely see his eyes. You'd think he'd want to accentuate them."

Whatever Quatre was going to say in Trowa's defense was stopped when the green-eyed boy stuck his hand into his jean's pocket, and with some difficulty managed to pull out an eyeliner. He sliently handed it to Duo.

"Thanks, Tro! Later!" Duo turned to leave, but before he took a step, Quatre asked him, "Just what are you planning to do with felt and eyeliner, Duo?"

To everyone's surprise, Duo flushed a deep red. Quatre felt an evil grin stretch across hs face. He used his most reasonable tone and asked, "Come on, we helped you find all this stuff. You owe us an explanation."

Duo looked uncertain for a moment, and then shrugged his shoulders. "Fine. But remember: you asked me to tell you. Okay, you know how the top of the penis is called the head?" He looked to Quatre and Trowa for confirmation; they both nodded, suddenly worried about where this converation was going. "Well, if you think of it as a head, than the slit is like a little mouth. You can squoosh it and make it talk."

Duo began making little pinching movements with his fingers, and speaking in a high-pitched voice. "Helloooo, Duo! I miss you, I looooove you!" He resumed speaking in his normal voice. "See? Talking penis heads. Anyway, I'm going to use the eyeliner to draw little eyes on it."

Quatre and Trowa just stared at Duo, a variety of mental images freezing their brains. Finally Quatre managed to speak. "And the felt? What's that for?"

"Oh, I thought I'd make a little hat for it. Maybe a fedora."

Again, Trowa and Quatre sat in stunned silence. Suddenly, Wufei spoke up. "I think a cowboy hat would be more appropriate, Maxwell."

Duo brightened. "Really? You think so?"

"Yes. A nice stetson would be just the thing."

"All right! Then that's what I'll make. Thanks, guys!" Duo turned at left the room at a run.

Quatre turned an incredulous face towards Wufei. "A STETSON?!" Wufei shook his head, still looking in the direction that Duo had left. He began counting underneath his breath. "Five... four... three... two... one!"

Just as Wufei finished counting, an enraged shout came from upstairs, so loud that the windows actually rattled. "I will KILL you, Duo!" Next a muffled "Meeep!" was heard, followed by the sound of running footsteps.

Wufei smiled and turned back to his book. "Now, that's justice!"


End file.
